Dirty Roulette! You might remember when the website chatroulette.com came out almost a decade ago. Thought up by a seventeen-year-old girl from Moscow, Chatroulette really changed the model of your traditional webcam video chat. Instead of only being able to chat with one person (typically someone you knew well), suddenly anyone in the world could video chat with anyone else in the world, and you’d have no way of knowing who that other person might be. Teenage girls became the site’s initial main demographic, as it was a kind of exciting way to spend a Tuesday night, chatting with strangers on the internet.

As you might imagine, it did not take long at all for Chatroulette to be invaded by dirty old men. Within a year, parents were up in arms about how they should keep their kids off of Chatroulette because it became, as one psychiatrist put it, “…much too dangerous for children…a predator’s paradise.” Although I’ve never been on Chatroulette myself, from what I’ve heard, within a year of the site being in operation, it had become nothing more than a barrage of perverted old men jacking off on camera.

Although Chatroulette is still active, they have taken measures to curb this sort of behavior. They explicitly spoke out to discourage using the site for anything sexual and changed their terms and services to state that pornographic content is strictly forbidden. They even devised an algorithm to be able to recognize when something other than a face is being presented on camera. Can you imagine having the job of inputting the data for that algorithm? How many different dick pics do you think they had to look at? Sounds like a special kind of hell.

In the wake of the Chatroulette controversy, however, plenty of porny entrepreneurs saw a whole new market present itself. And that’s how we got sites like slutroulette.com and Dirty Roulette. By using the Chatroulette model of randomized webcam chats (and the ability to quickly skip to a new partner), all of the dirty old men in the world now had an outlet to indiscriminately broadcast their dirty old dicks. Eureka!

Okay, Enough Boring Fucking History for Now; Let’s Get to the Good Stuff…

That brings me to Dirtyroulette.com. The website is extremely pared down. It consists of nothing but two screens on top of one another (one showing your chat partner, and one showing you), a chat box to the right, a series of control buttons (start, stop, and girls [more on that later]), a disclaimer saying that you must be 18+ to use the site, and a lengthy description of how to use the site underneath the chat section.

Go ahead, enter your gender, click start, and give Dirtyroulette access to your webcam and microphone. Now you’re ready to have some hot video chats with sexy sluts from around the world! Alright, let’s go.

Alright! Bring on the Random Sexy Sluts!

Click start. There’s a dick. Skip. Another dick. Skip. An old man stroking his shriveled-up dick. Skip. Either a hairy thigh or a hairy dick. Skip. Ooh, is that the smooth leg of a hot chick? Nope, just an extremely zoomed in dick. Damn it. This could go on, I would imagine, for weeks and I bet you’d never find a single girl on this site. I couldn’t stomach more than a couple minutes of it, though, so I decided to click the “girls” button, thinking maybe this would save me from the hellscape of dicks I’d somehow stumbled into.

Okay, now I’m brought to a new url: girls.dirtyroulette.com. This version is set up the exact same way as the original, but, instead of my eyes being assaulted by disgusting old man dick, there’s a sexy woman rolling around on her bed in her panties. Ah, much better. On my cam screen, though, there’s a prompt to allow the site to use Java. Otherwise I won’t be able to interact with her. I click accept and am told that I must verify my age.

Well, that is awfully fucking curious, isn’t it? I could have been thirteen years old and seeing more dicks than any straight man needs to see in a whole lifetime, and that’s okay, no age verification necessary, but now I want to see some tits and I have to be eighteen? What the fuck’s up with that?

I’ll tell you what the fuck’s up with that. Once I click on “verify now,” I’m brought to a different site, myfreecams.com. It looks like your typical xxx cam site—a bunch of thumbnails of cam girls who are live, a list of filters to the left, and a spot to log-in located in the top right-hand corner.

From there, I am prompted to sign up with my email address (they don’t even make me enter my date of birth or anything to verify my age, by the way). I sign up thinking ‘what the hell,’ it’s not like they want my credit card info or anything. They send me a confirmation email, I go click the link, and now I am able to use Myfreecams (AKA purchase tokens). Okay, whatever. But what happened to girls.dirtyroulette.com?

I go back to Dirtyroulette, wondering if maybe now that I signed up for Myfreecams I will also be able to get my roulette chat on. Nope, same thing as before: “verify your age.” I click it again, and I’m back to Myfreecams. Looks like “girls.dirtyroulette.com” is actually just a whitelisting for Myfreecams (keep an eye out on my review on that to come).

Maybe Change the Name to Dickroulette?

As far as porn sites for straight guys go, Dirtyroulette doesn’t have much to offer. Unless, of course, you’re looking to try out a new cam site, but it is not roulette style. If dick is your thing, though, I’m sure you’ll have a grand old time on Dirtyroulette—it’s easy to use, requires no signing up, and there is seemingly no end to the amounts of dicks you can interact with.

Another thing Dirtyroulette has going for it (that I definitely didn’t expect to see from a roulette site) is remarkably impressive video quality. There were hardly any lags, and (much to my dismay) all the dicks appeared, one after the other, in crystal clear, highly responsive live videos (not that I stuck around too long to have a lengthy chat with anyone).

I also applaud Dirtyroulette for stepping up and providing an outlet for all the dirty old men in the world who could be attempting to plague innocent sites like Chatroulette. Somebody had to do it. Better that it’s someone like me being inundated with an endless stream of dirty old dicks than some unassuming young girl in Idaho. So, that’s a positive mark in my book.

The site itself is also designed well—it’s super simple to figure out, easy to use, and even a monkey could figure out how to navigate it. Oh, dear god, if you do use Dirtyroulette, for the love of Christ, please keep your pet monkey far away from your computer. Even though some of the nasty old dicks I saw during my brief visit to the site could have belonged to a chimp for all I know—you hairy, gross fucking Neanderthals.

I’ll never understand the urge that so many men have to just show their dicks to everyone. Most of the dicks I saw were not even that impressive. It does make me wonder, though, if there isn’t something deeply embedded in our idiotic evolutionary DNA, an inexplicable desire to show what we’re packing to potential mates: “You Jane. I Dick. We fuck now.” Maybe that’s also the unconscious place Louis C.K. was operating from when he decided to just whip his cock out and start jerking it in front of chicks. Deep down, we’re all still just monkeys who need to cum.

Anyway, Where Was I? Oh, Yeah, Dickroulette.

Long story short, Dirtyroulette is a dick lover’s paradise. They do not, however, have much of interest for straight guys, so, unfortunately, our quest for a decent hetero video roulette site continues. And, I hate to say it boys, but the odds that we will succeed in this quest are looking pretty slim. Women can make really good money on those paid cam sites, so that doesn’t leave a whole lot of incentive for them to offer it up on the free with any and every gross dick with a webcam and internet service.

That’s okay, though, it’s a sellers’ market, and I for one definitely don’t mind tipping a workin’ girl if she’s earned it. So, I’m off to see what Myfreecams has to offer. I saw way too many dicks today, it’s definitely time for me to cleanse my palette. Happy fapping, fuckers (just please don’t make me watch).