PornDude, I want to fuck a real girl for free! Can these sex dating sites help me out for a hookup?

I assume you're not looking for a relationship, right? Since you're checking out this section on ThePornDude, I conclude you got sick of fantasy cybersex, giving yourself a handjob or playing with the clit, right? And you crave to feel some real pussy on your dick or desire a cock inside your vagina in your bed, isn't it?

To be straight to the point, yes, these websites are for people looking for direct sex without bullshit. There's no chit-chat, no flirting, no movie-dinner, or any of the "rules" that usually apply, before you can get laid. You meet, fuck, and go back home. It's as simple as that!

Why is this category useful for me and what kind of people can I meet?

Maybe you're married, bored of routine, feeling naughty and you feel like cheating on your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife with an affair (adultery)? No...? Wait, you're an alternative couple exploring polyamory, and you're looking for a cuckold threesome experiment in the glory hole, bareback dogging gangbangs outside on a parking lot, some hot swinger party action, partner exchange or wife swap in a BDSM club? Am I close yet?

Ah, you're divorced, lonely and seeking for a horny fuck buddy, nympho MILF, single soccer mom, desperate cougar, a friend with benefits, lust driven one night stand, easy pickup, flirt or a quick fling? Hmm, you're one of those lazy chicks or poor motherfuckers? You don't want to work, and you're looking for a sugar daddy or mama to support a rich, lavish lifestyle? (beware of golddiggers!)

Well, man, woman, or transgender, if you want to use the Internet as a way to chat, find casual sex dates locally in your area and have a good time, you’ll likely want to know what I have to say. These are the best platforms out there for meeting sexy singles, couples, or that someone special for a long-term love relationship after they proved themselves in the sack!

Oh, the number of dumb blondes, brunettes, redheads, and "Netflix and chill" hookups that I got on Tinder or Craigslist. Blowing weed and drinking booze, while having a drunk "ménage à trois" trio (FFM) in my van. Some jealous douche even sprayed "bang bus" on it once, while I was "studying" in the toilets of the university library in Cali. It was hard getting the stench of pussy out of it. Some people even thought I sold fish!

There's a lot of fake shit on the internet! Why should I trust you?

WTF, you dare to call me a liar? I’m ThePornDude! I've had many relationships, fucked a lot of (ugly) girls in orgies, and I have lots of experience with many of these (free) adult dating sites. I have searched and refined my top choices for you in a convenient way so that you can get access to the world's best networking locations and real sex communities on your computer, mobile smartphone, or tablet anywhere, anytime.

Do you want to learn more about these 18+, private, and discreet xxx dating places before signing up? Just click the magnifying glass for a small review and pros/cons section, so you can see what’s good, bad and which international site is number #1 in the world of online sex dating. Yes, sex on the first date is possible!

How do I become a pickup artist like you, PornDude?

Ah, so you want to become the ultimate badass pussy fucking machine and get some tips from a true master of the hookup game. Let me teach you, professional beta masturbators, how to seduce women that'll make them want to fuck the shit out of you, and fall in love without having access to a million-dollar bank account or the looks of Brad Pitt. Are you ready to become a player?

3 Tips from ThePornDude's "Get Laid" guide.

1. Liquor! No matter how ugly or socially retarded you are, there isn't a better wingman than alcohol. Booze that bitch up, and with every glass, you'll look more charming than George Clooney, instead of the "Mr. Bean" type that you really are.
2. Rent a Lambo for a day! Hey, it may sound expensive, but I guarantee you that you'll be able to get any slut that you want, if they see you arrive in a supercar. She'll be afraid of losing you to another gold digger and give you access to her pussy the same evening without doing any effort. You'll save time, money, and have a 100 % success rate!
3. Be a "Fuck Boy"! Chicks dig the typical modern Millennial douchebag and can't resist the charm of such a bad mannered macho that sends them "dick pics" as a pickup line. Narcissistic assholes that treat women like a piece of meat will only make them want to fuck you more. Stop being the nice guy, be an alpha, and get out of the friend zone!

Link: YouTube (Get your "Fuck Boy" starter kit now!)

PornDude, holy shit, I'm going to get laid! Any other advice, fuckmeister?

Yeah, baby, you're finally going to get your dick wet, virgin! Just don't forget a pack of condoms. I don't want you to have unprotected sex and let some nasty slut infect you with an STD. Oh, and remove your socks, since girls hate that, stud!

I’m not going to waste your time with a collection of sites that don’t deliver, so be sure to trust the opinion and advice of me, ThePornDude. I’m sure that you’ll agree with my ratings on my porn list, and if you don’t, you're a fool for not giving yourself the chance to join the best dating sites on the Web. You don't have to be romantic, and there's no need for cheesy pickup lines here!

Just sign up to your preferred hookup site and become a member! Create a new profile, upload a decent (fuckable) photo of yourself, find a match fast in your city, meet in person, and get laid tonight! 100 % sexual satisfaction guaranteed! Get off the couch and let the hunt begin!