Are you looking for some escorts at USA Sex Guide? I have always dreamt of hitting the road and seeing these great United States of ours from coast to coast. I want to visit the monuments, the national forests, the natural phenomenon, sample the diverse cultures of every state—the local food, the nightlife, and, of course, the women. A sort of manifest destiny of fuck. A truly patriotic conquest.

I could get some cheese stakes in Philly during the day. And at night I could learn why It’s Always Sunny. Maybe get some legendary BBQ in St. Louis. Then have backs arching like the gateway for dessert. Ah, how I would love to go down to St. Augustine, Florida, and take a dip in the fountain of youth. Then drive a few hours down to Miami to snort coke off an escort’s ass (South Florida has some of the hottest girls in the world, and something about the heat and humidity just makes them so damn horny).

Man, that would really be the trip of a lifetime. Maybe somebody will give me a book deal with a hefty advance to take it someday. I guarantee it would be an interesting read (to say the very least). Plus, sex always sells. So, publishers, feel free to get at me if you want to pay me to fuck escorts around the country and then write about it.

Regardless, I do love to travel as often as I can. I don’t know about you, but I start to feel claustrophobic if I stay in one place for too long. I guess I have something of a nomadic soul. Maybe I just get bored quickly. Either way, one benefit of my frequent traveling is that I have developed, over time, the same sort of fortunate set up for myself that Nate Dogg and Ludacris once bragged about. In other words, “I’ve got hoes in different area codes.”

We can’t all be players, though, let’s face it. I'm 99.9% sure that if you are reading this review right now, you most definitely do not have hoes in any area code, let alone multiple. Anyways, it’s all good; we can’t all be blessed with the gift. Don’t let it get you down. There is no shame in paying for sex. Well, on second thought, that is debatable. There can be shame in it. But, fuck it, feeling ashamed is a choice. Just do what makes you happy.

Maybe you travel a lot for work. Who wants to go through the trouble of dragging his jet-lagged ass to the club after a long flight and an even longer workday just to do the old song and dance to get some pussy? I sure as hell wouldn’t. If that sounds like your situation, well, you, sir, may be in need of an escort.

In an unfamiliar city, though, it isn’t quite so simple all the time. It’s not like you can just phone the front desk of your hotel (in which your room is likely booked under your boss’s name) and say, “Hey there, skippy, find me a hooker!” And wandering the streets for a lady of the night will leave you susceptible to being mugged or, worse, picked up by undercover cops on a sting. So, all this considered, what is a man to do when he needs some pussy?

Ass and Titties, City to City

The information on USA Sex Guide is 100% user-generated, allowing you to be put in touch with locals either before you embark on a trip, or (depending on how prepared you are) once you get there. Every big city in the country has the same sub-threads to choose from. And how active they are, as you may have already assumed, depends on the size of the city (and how freaky its inhabitants are).

The sub-threads of each city are as follows: Escort Reports, Streetwalker Reports, Massage Parlor Reports, Rip Off Reports, Strip Club Reports, and Back Page Advertiser Reviews. Then we also have Escort Classified Ads – Posted by Escorts – No Reviews or Commentary, Craigslist Advertiser Reviews, General Reports, and Escort Classified Ads. Not to forget, General Discussion, Adult Search Advertiser Reviews (Sponsored by Adult Search), News and Media Reports, Truck Stop Reports, and USA Adult Classified Ads: Advertiser Reviews. Short of having a thread called Gloryhole Locator, you can pretty much get the lay of the sexual service land for any city in America on this site. And, besides, I’m sure gloryholes come up frequently enough in the Truck Stop Reports section anyway.

In addition to all of the preset threads for a given city, users can also create their own threads should an inquiry, review, or report not necessarily fall under one of the categories in the exhaustive list that I just gave you. USA Sex Guide refers to these as “User Blogs,” but that is definitely a misnomer. Users are not “blogging” at all in this section. They are merely creating a post that could just as quickly be filed away under a thread called “General Discussion,” as is the case on most forums.

A Few Disappointing, Underwhelming, or Missing Elements

This section, however, only includes one piece of information: Number of Posts. You can also browse the user’s posts, but there is no way to communicate with that user beyond replying to a comment or commenting on a thread, and there is no information on the user whatsoever. Not that I necessarily need to be chatting with "Johns" on the internet, but there are escorts who register on this site and post their own ads.

It would only make sense, then, that these girls should be able to have profiles at least, with pics, info, stats, contacts, etc. I don’t know why you would go through the trouble of creating a feature for each member to have a unique profile but then do nothing with it. It seems kind of pointless if you ask me. And a huge missed opportunity.

There is, however, a “Photo Gallery” section of the site. Where you may be able to more easily browse girls and avoid the Johns, getting their info that way. But it is so unnecessarily precarious to navigate, giving you a dropdown menu of every thread, as well as every city, on the site. How the fuck am I supposed to use that to find an escort quickly? It seems like, if anything, that just creates more work for me to try and figure out. Fuck that.

My other big complaint with the site is that I wish it weren’t so strictly limited to location-based threads. What I mean by this is that, instead of always having to go through and search postings by city, I wish there was an easier way than the Photo Gallery option, to access all escort postings and then filter by location from there (if that makes sense). I’m not crazy about having to click into separate city-based forums necessarily to find girls. I want the option to just search the entire database and zero in on specific places from there as well.

Add onto all of that an unimpressive site design (it’s functional but bland) and the fact that there are ads, and I’m not sure that USA Sex Guide would, in hindsight, be my first choice, at least not for finding girls in my own city. The locale-centric model, however, is brilliant for paying for poon on the go; I bet it makes escort exchanges go so much more smoothly when you are in unfamiliar territory.

It’s a great idea, for sure, I just wish it was executed a little better. But, all in all, I will definitely be checking this site out first the next time I plan on hitting up a new city. Happy travels.