Voyeur House! Congratulations, pervert. Every single one of your dreams just came true, and I’m about to show you where you can reap the rewards. You can thank me later. Cash only, please.

Ever since you first hit puberty you started to rub your tiny two-inch baby dick to thoughts of spying on girls. Watching them get undressed for the night, watching them masturbate and have sex, even watching them shower. The thought of unrestricted access to a girl’s most intimate moments has been your life-long dream ever since.

Thanks to the wonders of the internet and the good people at Voyeur House, this dream is now a reality. Voyeur House has built something wonderful. They’ve set up a collection of webcams in the houses of some incredibly attractive people, so you can watch their highlights and lowlights as much as you want. You can watch them cook, clean, sleep, eat, shower, fuck—anything they do inside those four walls, you can watch. If you’re dedicated and desperate enough, you could probably even jerk off to all of it.

Yes, dreams really do come true. Wait, no. You’ve still got a two-inch dick, so maybe not every one of your dreams came true. Some things are too good to be true, I guess. Thankfully, Voyeur House isn’t one of them.

A Buffet Of Voyeurism

Right as soon as you enter the house you’re greeted with a selection of still images from each of the cameras. This is a good way to survey the goods before jumping in. There are a few cameras in each house and usually only one or two people home, so try not to pick a room that’s empty. Unless you’re really into interior design, your best bet is to actually watch a room with a person in it, you fucking moron. When they move, you can follow them, just as if you were a pervert who broke into the house and is hiding behind the curtains masturbating. As I said, it’s all your fantasies come to life.

Let’s get the biggest downside of Voyeur House out of the way—it’s a whole lot of nothing most of the time. You might watch for a few minutes and not see anything interesting. The downside of 24/7 footage is that people can’t handle getting fucked for twenty-four hours a day. Maybe if we tied them down and forced them, but that’s a different site. On Voyeur House, we have to be patient.

But that’s not to say the site sucks—when nudity and sex does happen, it’s some of the hottest shit you’ll ever see. Soon enough, your patience will be rewarded. Not only does the waiting build anticipation, but the camera angles really magnify the creepy pervert effect. It all feels really forbidden and taboo, and we all know that blowing your load to something you’re not supposed to is twice as good. It feels like committing a crime, but the cops won’t bust down your door after.

Plus, if you do get really bored, you can always just swap houses. Chances are that at least one of them has something interesting going on, so just move around until your heart and your cock are content with what you find. If that’s not enough, there are highlight videos you can watch—this kills some of the joys of waiting around for something hot to happen, but it’s a good way to get your rocks off if you don’t have an entire evening to spare.

Two Ways To Pay

Without opening your wallet, Voyeur House doesn’t give you much. You can see a single girl's webcam feed, normally in a less-than-exciting location. If you just want to check out the quality of the playback or if you’ve got a fetish for watching girls make lunch, the free membership might be for you, but those of us who aren’t fucking weird will want to spring for premium.

Even worse than being restricted to a single camera is the amount of fucking pop-ups advertising their premium plan that you’ll get. Jesus fucking Christ, you guys don’t have to remind me that I’m moments away from a REAL LIFE CAMS experience every ten seconds just because I’m not paying you. Even if all I wanted to do was watch this one girl’s kitchen twenty-four-seven, I’d pay for premium just to get rid of this annoying fucking ad.

Premium access opens up access to the rest of the houses, as well as to the good locations in the house. For thirty bucks a month (or slightly less if you prepay over a longer-term), you’ll get to choose who you watch and where you watch them. No longer restricted to the most boring rooms, you can follow the action to the bedroom or the bathroom, a.k.a where the good stuff happens. Voyeur House lets you watch a few single women, as well as a straight couple and a lesbian couple, so perverts of all inclinations should be able to find something hot to watch with premium access. If it happens inside the confines of the home, you’ll be able to watch it if you’re patient enough.

On top of the membership rate, there’s a type of currency that Voyeur House uses (and charges you for). You get about one token per day as a bonus with your membership, but you’ll have to pay extra if you want more.

And what do these tokens do? They’ve got three uses. The first, which is actually fucking fantastic, is that they give you access to replays of some of the hottest stuff that has ever happened over the last twenty-four hours on Voyeur House. Say you’re into this one girl that you’ve been spying on, but you’ve been watching for eight hours and all she’s done is laze around the house and cook dinner. You think she’s cute and you’re basically in love. But while you were waiting for her to show a bit of cleavage some other girl was busy creaming all over her boyfriend’s gigantic cock. Just venture over to the replay section, spend a token, and enjoy yourself. Fall in love with her instead, at least you know she puts out.

You can also use them to watch a sort of greatest-hits selection of videos: these aren’t necessarily from the last day, but Voyeur House picks out some of the hottest sucking and fucking action and locks it behind this secondary paywall for you to enjoy. It kind of sucks that you’re having to pay for something you could have seen if you were watching at the time, but these videos are usually pretty fantastic so it can be worth it if you want to see some really nice content.

The other use of tokens is kind of sad for people who aren’t losers, but you might like it. You can tip tokens directly to the models, for no reason other than the fact that you’re a nice guy with a delusional fantasy that this might lead to them falling in love with you, abandoning their career, settling down with you, getting married and having two kids and a house with a white picket fence and a pool… and all of that other utter bullshit. If that sounded appealing to you instead of disgusting and desperate, tip away.

Insert Tokens To Chat

Oh, premium memberships let you message the girls, too. This is absolutely perfect if you want them to pretend that they actually like you despite it being obvious that the only reason they’re talking to you is that you’re paying their mortgage. Actually, no—try telling her you masturbated to her five times while she slept, I bet that’s the way to her heart. Just record the video of her reaction and sent it to me, I promise I won’t forward it to anyone.

But, I suppose if you’re lonely and desperate enough, it’s a reasonable facsimile of the actual human contact that your life so sorely lacks. You can use the sex scenes to fill the gaping hole in your sex life, and the conversation to fill the gaping hole in your social life. Voyeur House really does have it all.