ForHims! I’ve had a lot of people asking me if ForHims.com is legit, which I guess is to be expected since my whole business revolves around boners. I’m sure I had some of the same questions when I started seeing the ads pop up around the Internet. The site’s been around a few years now and currently gets over 20,000 visitors a day, but it still seems too good to be true for a lot of men seeking harder, more magnificent and impressive erections.

If you’re a frequent consumer of hardcore pornography, which I’m guessing you are, you were probably already familiar with all those sketchy ads offering mystery chemicals for your ding-a-ling. Maybe you even tried that shit, or some of those truck-stop specials with names like Rhino Horn Sex Blaster and Midnight Stallion XTRA-Long. If you’re lucky, the worst they gave you was a headache and maybe a light rash on the genitals. Right from the ads, ForHims distinguishes themselves from that fake-ass trash by offering the real deal: Viagra (Sildenafil), Cialis, and other pharmaceuticals prescribed by real online doctors.

Online Viagra, For Real?

ForHims.com is a sleek, professional-looking operation. There’s nothing remotely sleazy about the place, despite all the dick pills for sale. The layout is clean, spam-free, and user-friendly. When you’ve got a store that looks this fucking nice and you’re offering magic that gives you instant teenager hard-ons, it’s no fucking surprise these guys have been popular since they opened. In the middle of the pandemic, their telehealth business model seems to be really working out for them; traffic has shot the fuck up over the last couple of months.

Speaking of telehealth, ForHims ain’t a boners-only clinic. They’ve expanded into all kinds of health areas like cold and cough, mental health, pink eye and bug bites, but their main bag is embarrassing male problems. They’ve got minoxidil and finasteride for hair loss, propranolol for stage fright, and some prescription skin creams, so you don’t get that Harvey Weinstein complexion.

But you’re reading this at MAP.xxx, so I know exactly why you’re here. You’re curious if you can really buy Viagra and other ED remedies online without getting your money stolen and your identity farmed out by a teenage hacker in Russia. Hey, we’ve all been there. Don’t even get me started on the herpes I caught from a bootleg penis pump a few years back.

Long story short: Yes, ForHims.com offers legit, reputable telemedicine, including real doctors, real prescriptions, and real drugs. You’ll answer some simple questions to create a profile with your medical history and symptoms, speak with a physician licensed in your state, and then get your boner pills shipped to your mailbox for free. You don’t have to leave the house or tell a doctor face-to-face that your junk ain’t working right.

Let’s Buy Boner Pills Online

I won’t lie, I’ve been buying my vitamin V from a sketchy dude who hangs out behind the local 7-11. I guess I can’t be entirely sure his product is legit, especially since I just found out hallucinations aren’t actually a side-effect of Viagra. With that in mind, I figured I’d see how easy it was to actually get a prescription online. It would be my first time buying drugs on the Internet with my credit card instead of bitcoin, and the first time they came in the mail without committing a federal offense.

The intake form is a simplified version of what you’d be filling out in a regular doctor’s office or clinic. I answered just 26 questions about my health, including what supplements I took and if I had any personal or family history of shit like heart attacks. Naturally, they also had some questions about my wiener, how hard it gets and with what frequency.

They’ll want to know your blood pressure, so you may want to run down to Walgreens and stick your arm in the elderly gloryhole before you visit ForHims. You might be tempted to lie if you don’t know your blood pressure, or if you’ve got high blood pressure since that’s a red flag to the docs. You also might be tempted to lie about having a recent in-person exam, since they expect you to have one within a few years of trying to get a script from them.

The thing is, these questions are for your own fucking safety. I’m not a doctor, but Viagra is a relatively safe drug unless you have certain conditions that turn it into dangerous poison. If you fuck yourself and cripple your crankshaft because you lied to the doctors, it’s kind of on you. Viagra is seriously bad news if you take nitrates or hypertension meds, and can cause issues if you’ve got a bent dick, ulcers, or other medical problems. No joke.

Cheaper Than Your Neighborhood Drug Dealer

After the health questionnaire, ForHims.com asked me what kind of drugs I’d like to take. As advertised, it’s way fucking cheaper than going to a doctor and buying brand-name pills. If you’re a brand whore, you can spring for the blue diamonds that say Pfizer, but why blow extra on the same exact chemicals? ForHims has Sildenafil for $4 a dose, generic Viagra for $34, and “real” Viagra for $70. If you want the longer effect of Cialis, it’ll run you $240 or $570 a month, depending on if you’re happy with the generic or you only rock that Versace shit.

I chose Sildenafil, which seemed like the obvious fucking choice. ForHims.com then asks you how many times a month, you’ll want some chemical enhancement before presenting you with specific dosages and monthly rates. It turns out that $4 is only if you want 40mg, but the suggested starting dose is 60mg for $6. That’s still just $36 a month for the 6 I wanted, and the rates drop pretty substantially if you want to stock up on 3-, 6-, or 12-months’ worth of dick pills.

To verify who you are, you’ll first need to snap a photo of your ID. (ID, incidentally, is the dumbest of all abbreviations. The I stands for I, while the D stands for Dentification.) Then you’ll snap another photo of yourself to prove you match that dentification, followed by your credit card digits.

Your online doctor visit and shipping are free, so my total out the door was under forty bones. You’re not charged anything immediately, though. After giving ForHims all my personal information, they showed me the smiling photo of a board-certified family physician along with the following message: “Your doctor will review your medical history and preferences. If approved, you will be prescribed a treatment and receive your medication in 3-5 days.”

Have you ever made an actual doctor’s appointment? Copays can be expensive even if you have insurance, and the uninsured often won’t even bother trying until their eyeballs are liquifying in the sockets. When you do make the call, you’re a lucky motherfucker if you can get in this week, and even luckier if the fucker next to you in the waiting room is COVID-free. ForHims.com can hook you up with a Viagra script, along with the actual drug, in under a week without leaving the house.

Easy, Cheap, Legit Boner Pills

ForHims.com is a respectable, legal operation, and as such, they obey all the applicable laws. That means the full process of getting a script may vary a little bit from place to place. For example, my state required I talk to a health care provider over the phone to complete the consultation. It ain’t a big deal at all, because ForHims makes the process as easy and painless as possible.

Using erectile dysfunction treatments like Viagra and Cialis is a lot more commonplace all the time, but let’s face it, nobody wants to go in and tell the doctor the ol’ ding-dong hasn’t been denting any cars lately. It ain’t like the movies where the hot nurse measures your dick before applying some oral first-aid. ForHims.com simplifies the fucking hell out of your boner-pill hookup, offering the real deal for less money, in less time, with less embarrassment.